You know how all these brands like Nike say ‘Just do it’, or like some other brand puts it – ‘Do less be More’? At first glance, they seem to embody the rebel within all of us – the part of us that loves to think of ourselves as the underdog, and fantasize about how we can overcome all odds and break free.
However, as I walk past a large Nike billboard with its quasi-war-cry-against-conformity - ‘Just Do it’, all I see is a big man sitting up in a cozy office, minting money by deluding humanity into believing they actually have a say in how their life pans out. I knew that Originality was a cliché, but even I was amazed at how an entire parade of billboards could be so similar in their treatment of visuals or words that would effectively serve as an ego-massage to our innate lust for self-actualization through rebellion. Had humanity really degenerated into such naiveté? Perhaps...
The shadows seem to embrace me as I walk past them and through them. A green bench appears in the distance as I walk on. ‘Perfect’ – I think to myself. Just like in the movies – a lonely stretch of road, shadows that live and die around me adding character to the night, the smell of impending rain and now a rusty green metal bench under a flickering light-post, waiting on me, as if egging me on to indulge in a little retrospection.
I sit down – the metal is cold to my touch and I am certain that the coating of green coming off on the edges will leave a stain on my white shirt – or should I call it a scar, for that seems more apt, going by my recent experiences. I hadn’t been myself of late. ‘Love’ – as they call it, was the poison that had mingled with the blood that runs through my veins and into my heart. For too long I had been submerged in the darkness, too long had I struggled with isolation, perhaps I had grown tired with it. When love came with its warmth, I jumped right into it, as the fool that is so weary of cold that a raging fire seems a better alternative, in spite of the death it entails.
There I was, deluding myself into believing that happiness and love could be my lot. Little did I realize that Love is the card that Irony played to bluff Life into submission. When I did realize, it was all too late. Heartbreak was all that I got for my pains. One moment I was filled with optimism – of starting afresh, of being everything that she needed me to be, of giving her so much love that she would have never dreamt of; the next moment it was all gone, and in its place came pain – pain that started with surprise which soon transformed into denial. I had fortified myself against such emotions. I had taught my heart to be cold, so that I wouldn’t ever need to surrender my sanity to the whimsical idiosyncrasies of a pretty face. But when I did give love a chance, all I ended up with was a pain which I didn’t understand as much as didn’t want.
And then came the deeper realization – I wasn’t meant for this. Darkness always was, and always will be my lot – I will always obsess over it. The love and the pain had been a learning process – just to realize how much darkness meant to me. They say we have to lose something to understand its true value – I’m not much for clichés, but this one seemed to have hit the nail on the head.
So there I was, on the Green Bench – the color itself was pregnant in its implication – the darkness was growing in me again. I smiled as the light above went out, it was pitch black now. But it didn’t matter. My eyes were used to it. I got up. Cynicism brimmed over in my mind once again – I felt the strength coming back again. I had missed this…
