Life went on, and I learnt to deal with the pangs of unreciprocated love. She was beyond my realm. I was the rustic soul who could only long for her company and love; she was the Princess in her ivory tower, wooed by suitors aspiring to be her Prince Charming.
Yet, one question continued to gnaw at my soul – why did she meet me? I couldn’t be so wrong. I had seen something in her eyes – something that looked a lot like love. The days passed by, weeks became months, months became a year. I graduated from college. Not just graduated, I was one of the toppers, and received a job with a fat pay packet for my efforts. Everything seemed new, but my love continued in it’s endless meanderings for reciprocation.
They say first love is the one that stays with you forever. It might not be the last affair you will ever have, nor the longest or happiest. Yet, the memory of it lingers on – shaping our reactions to any and all romantic liaisons thenceforth. First love is also the purest, because it is spontaneous. There are no practiced lines, no preconceived notions, no cynicism – it is naïve, and that’s the beauty of it. My first love had changed me. No longer was I the awe-struck Petrarchan lover, putting my lady love on a pedestal and worshipping her more than loving her. I was real now and so was my love.
It had been more than a year since I had last seen her. Perhaps she had just been a catalyst that Fate had sent my way, to push me out of my stupor of romantic idealism. Perhaps she had been a wake-up call to tell me that real life and real love were far removed from the dreamy world that candy floss cinema portrayed it in.
Yet the impact of it all had been remarkable. My mystery woman had filled up the empty canvas of my being, with the rich strokes of love, warmth and affection – making me more complete as a person. I was happy, from within and without. The jigsaw puzzle that I used to call life had fallen into place with love binding all the pieces together.
But it wasn’t meant to end like this – Destiny wouldn’t allow it. One evening, I found myself sitting in the very pizza outlet where I once worked as a waiter. Everyone in the staff knew me, so it hadn’t been difficult getting a seat at the table where I wanted to sit. And so there I was – sitting on the very chair that she had sat on, the first time I saw her. I tried to imagine what she would have thought when she had seen me looking at her. I tried to picture myself as I had lingered with her order a bit longer, just to see her for that extra minute.
I was still lost in my thoughts when she walked in and sat at the table in the far corner. She looked as beautiful as ever. I took a moment to ponder – if I didn’t do anything now, then I would probably regret it my entire life. Would I live to grow old thinking of what might have been, or would it be better to have the consolation that I tried? The decision was made and I made my way to her table. I wanted her to see me as the person I had become – the person her love had built out of me.
She looked up, and held my gaze. It was the same as ever – no words spoken yet so much told. She smiled at me, her lips arching back in that beautiful pattern that I loved so much. Her eyes were twinkling as before – so much mischief in those playful eyes. Her hair cascading down her shoulders, as if in embodiment of her independent and free spirit. I pulled out the chair opposite her, and sat down, my eyes fixed on her’s. My Princess was in front of me – so many times I had dreamt of this moment, so many nights I had spent thinking of what I would say when the moment came. And now that it had finally come, I was speechless.
She spoke in the most beautiful, warm and loving voice I had ever heard, “So you finally want to say something?”
I looked at her, and smiled…
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